Okay, so, lately I've been asking folks who don't wear watches why they don't wear watches, especially people who are always running behind schedule. The question, which was deceptively complex and full of twists and turns, was, "Why don't you wear a watch?" and the answers were (with my unspoken thought bubbles in parentheses):
1. "For What?" ("Um, so you can figure out what time it is, you perennially behind schedule mothaf*!#er. What the f#2k are you using now, a sun dial?)
2. "Because I'm a boss, and things don't start until I get there" ("Right, that would be true, except everything seems to start without you, dude, seriously. Get an effing watch").
3. "Because it reminds me of handcuffs, and I'm not really into that." ("OMG, WTF?!")
4. "That's what I have a cell phone for." ("Pause -- no, that's not what phones are for. What do you do with a watch? Talk to other people like Penny from Inspector Gadget? What do you use an iron for -- an answering machine? C'mon").
5. "I lost my watch" ("Gee, I wish there was a way for you to get another one. Oh, I know, if only there were people who figured they could sell things like this and if only there could be a form of currency with which such items could be purchased. Oh, well." *shrug*)
6. "I like to be late" ("Wow...")
7. "My wrists are too thin, and the watch always slides up and down my arm, and it bothers me when I walk, drive, exercise, or use eating utensils" (No comment, just *gulp*).
8. "I'm afraid I will take it off and I will leave it at my girlfriend's house" ("And your wife will find out. I get it").
9. "I don't look good in a watch" ("What the hell types of watches are you wearing? You're not supposed to look like Flava Flav, you're just supposed to wear one on your wrist. If you need a dressing room to try on your watch, that joint is too big, for real")
10. "I don't like them" ("All right. Fair enough").
Peace & Timeliness
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