To me, there's nothing better than great music. Music is my addiction, my inspiration. It keeps me going. Here are some albums I've been listening to a lot lately, in no particular order other than the fact that numbering them is a necessity:
1. Robyn: Body Talk pt 1, pt. 2, and pt. 3 - Robyn's "Body Talk" series is definitely kick@ss. She knows how to do this electro-pop thing (and acoustic pop and dance pop and pop-rap) in a way that sounds fresh. She released 3 parts this year, with some repetition of the first two parts on the 3rd release. That's okay, though, 'cause this is the digital age and if you get a little repetition, it's not a big deal, 'cause you can make your own CDs and playlists, as you see fit. Fun music, with paper cuts (that means "edge"). Songs I actually repeat: "Don't F*cking Tell Me What To Do", "Criminal Intent", "None of Dem", "Fembot", and "U Should Know Better".
2. The Dead Weather, Sea of Cowards - What's sick is that Jack White has a new fan (me!) and he doesn't know it -- and if he did know it, I don't think he'd care. Whatever, his side band The Dead Weather is my new addiction. Jack's on drums a lot, which is cool, but I dig the trade off on vocals between Jack and Alison Mosshart. Really cool dynamic. She rocks out as hard as P!nk pretends to (*smirk*). (And I like P!nk). Songs I actually repeat: "Blue Blood Blues", "Hustle & Cuss", "Gasoline".
3. k-os, The Anchorman Mixtape - This guy's a rapper-musician-singer-songwriter from Canada, and this free mixtape is really good. I totally dig it, all the way. It uses the movie "The Anchorman" as a theme, with snippets from the movie tacked to the beginning of the songs, but it's not irritating. What's awesome is the scope and breadth of the music. Is there anything k-os can't do? He's singing, he's doing rock, he's rapping, he's doing patois, he's popping popcorn, he's "The 5th Black Beatle" and "The Fourth Fugee". Songs I actually repeat. All of them. It goes by too quickly. [Download it]
More music later, but right now these are the ish.
Peace & Happy listenng...
Monday, November 29, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
Best Thanksgiving Items
What food do you most associate with Thanksgiving? My guess would be Turkey. And then, associated with the Turkey would be dressing or stuffing. But what's good about the Thanksgiving menu aside from the obvious Turkey? Wrote a list about it. Wanna see it? Here it goes:
1. Cranberry sauce - if I can't have (good) cranberry sauce with a Thanksgiving meal, the whole thing seems pointless.
2. Corn - I love corn, especially on the cob. Somehow, though, I never end up having corn on the cob on Thanksgiving. So creamed corn is my runner-up.
3. Broccoli (steamed or boiled) - This isn't going to appeal to everyone. This is just what I like. Broccoli seems so simple, so obvious. But never underestimate the power of simplicity.
4. Sweet potato pie - even the name sounds delicious!
5. Salad - this is cheating, because "salad" isn't a single food. It's a composite of a bunch of foods. But I have to have salad, as often as possible and as much as possible. Love it.
6. Macaroni & Cheese - I'm not a huge fan of mac & cheese, normally. But for a holiday dinner it gets transformed into something great. It's the cheese part I'm usually not partial to, but I don't mind it on the big days.
7. Rolls - Hot rolls go well with Turkey & Dressing. I prefer rolls to cornbread. Cornbread is a jealous bread. It crumbles a little when you try to eat it in hopes that you will choke and need someone to perform the Heimlich. That's really uncool.
8. Greens - I'll take turnip greens, but I like collards better.
9. Baked apples - really tasty. Used to have these when I was a kid. With honey. Success.
10. Green bean casserole - ever had this? It's pretty good. Squeaks into the number 10 position.
Peace & Hope your Thanksgiving was grand.
1. Cranberry sauce - if I can't have (good) cranberry sauce with a Thanksgiving meal, the whole thing seems pointless.
2. Corn - I love corn, especially on the cob. Somehow, though, I never end up having corn on the cob on Thanksgiving. So creamed corn is my runner-up.
3. Broccoli (steamed or boiled) - This isn't going to appeal to everyone. This is just what I like. Broccoli seems so simple, so obvious. But never underestimate the power of simplicity.
4. Sweet potato pie - even the name sounds delicious!
5. Salad - this is cheating, because "salad" isn't a single food. It's a composite of a bunch of foods. But I have to have salad, as often as possible and as much as possible. Love it.
6. Macaroni & Cheese - I'm not a huge fan of mac & cheese, normally. But for a holiday dinner it gets transformed into something great. It's the cheese part I'm usually not partial to, but I don't mind it on the big days.
7. Rolls - Hot rolls go well with Turkey & Dressing. I prefer rolls to cornbread. Cornbread is a jealous bread. It crumbles a little when you try to eat it in hopes that you will choke and need someone to perform the Heimlich. That's really uncool.
8. Greens - I'll take turnip greens, but I like collards better.
9. Baked apples - really tasty. Used to have these when I was a kid. With honey. Success.
10. Green bean casserole - ever had this? It's pretty good. Squeaks into the number 10 position.
Peace & Hope your Thanksgiving was grand.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Compliments!
Compliments (not to be confused with "complements") are awesome to give, and even better to receive. But if you listen closely you will find that there is variety in the way they are communicated. The list below offers a few examples:
1. Straightforward. This is obvious. A person just gives you a compliment. Typical construction: "Derek, you do a good job of _________." Fill in the blank: listening, running, making Lego castles, choosing cantaloupe, planning weddings, recording television shows, etc.
2. Backwards. To the compliment giver, this may seem like a straightforward comment, but it isn't. Typical construction: "Francine, you're not bad at ____________." Fill in the blank: listening, running, making Lego castles, choosing cantaloupe, planning weddings, recording television shows, etc. Saying a person doesn't suck at something isn't the same as saying they're good at it.
3. Left-handed. Ahhh, the left-handed compliment. This remark is so sly it hardly feels like a compliment at all. Sometimes it combines elements of the Backwards compliment into its delivery. Typical construction: "Paula, for a girl with ___________, you sure do ___________!" Fill in the blanks: big feet / run fast; balance issues / dance well; so little experience / handle yourself well in meetings.
4. Sarcastic tone. On paper, this one looks like a straightforward compliment, but the tone gives it away. It's a compliment, but with a hint of jealousy, spite, or anger. Typical construction: "Wow, you sure ARE ______________". Fill in the blank: lucky, tall, getting a lot done today, etc. Listen to the way the words are spoken. Tone is the body language of spoken communication.
5. Hyperbole: This one goes above and beyond the call of a typical compliment. Usually the speaker is expressing the utmost enthusiasm, often accompanied by similes and metaphors. Typical construction: "Gosh, your __________ is as ___________ as ______________." Fill in the blanks: jump shot / smooth / Michael Jordan; piano / large / a woolly mammoth; drawing / accomplished / Picasso.
Thanks for taking the time to check this out. You guys are ___________. Fill in the blank: Great readers, an awesome audience, terrific e-citizens.
Peace & Kind Words!!!!!!!!!!!
1. Straightforward. This is obvious. A person just gives you a compliment. Typical construction: "Derek, you do a good job of _________." Fill in the blank: listening, running, making Lego castles, choosing cantaloupe, planning weddings, recording television shows, etc.
2. Backwards. To the compliment giver, this may seem like a straightforward comment, but it isn't. Typical construction: "Francine, you're not bad at ____________." Fill in the blank: listening, running, making Lego castles, choosing cantaloupe, planning weddings, recording television shows, etc. Saying a person doesn't suck at something isn't the same as saying they're good at it.
3. Left-handed. Ahhh, the left-handed compliment. This remark is so sly it hardly feels like a compliment at all. Sometimes it combines elements of the Backwards compliment into its delivery. Typical construction: "Paula, for a girl with ___________, you sure do ___________!" Fill in the blanks: big feet / run fast; balance issues / dance well; so little experience / handle yourself well in meetings.
4. Sarcastic tone. On paper, this one looks like a straightforward compliment, but the tone gives it away. It's a compliment, but with a hint of jealousy, spite, or anger. Typical construction: "Wow, you sure ARE ______________". Fill in the blank: lucky, tall, getting a lot done today, etc. Listen to the way the words are spoken. Tone is the body language of spoken communication.
5. Hyperbole: This one goes above and beyond the call of a typical compliment. Usually the speaker is expressing the utmost enthusiasm, often accompanied by similes and metaphors. Typical construction: "Gosh, your __________ is as ___________ as ______________." Fill in the blanks: jump shot / smooth / Michael Jordan; piano / large / a woolly mammoth; drawing / accomplished / Picasso.
Thanks for taking the time to check this out. You guys are ___________. Fill in the blank: Great readers, an awesome audience, terrific e-citizens.
Peace & Kind Words!!!!!!!!!!!
Preview Tuesdays (but it's Monday)
In the United States, music and DVDs are released on Tuesdays. This week, music seems to be coming out on Monday (that's today). On Preview Tuesdays, we're going to tell you about some selections that are coming out, and give you our thoughts on albums we probably haven't heard at all. That's pretty much the way it used to work before the days of the Internet anyway. Ahhhh, the good old days. When all you heard was a song on the radio and had to guess about the rest of the album. I'm feeling nostalgic:
Albums releasing on November 22, 2010:
1. Kanye West, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy: You should get this. It's dope. All kinds of weird symbolism, great production, plus Kanye's brutal and awkward manipulation of the English language. It's a polarizing album, with some people saying it's the best thing since humans developed thumbs and other people saying it's garbage. It's somewhere in the middle, but way closer to being as awesome as having thumbs. [Update: Rolling Stone gave this album a 5 out of 5, which is a big deal, but Pitchfork has given this album a 10 out of 10, which is like, holy (beep) because Pitchfork has a reputation for hating everything.][PopMatters just gave this album a 10 out of 10, and they almost never give a 10. The album is definitely sick. I probably would give it an 8 or a 9. It's more of a 9 if I'm allowed to add Kanye's free G.O.O.D. Friday tracks to it.]
2. Akon, Akonic: Not a big Akon fan. I always see "Akorn" first and then I realize it's "Akon". I respect this guy's hustle, though, but I'm not excited about hearing this one. Album title is kind of wack, too. Kanye's album title is long, but it's cool to me. Akonic is just...the opposite.
3. The Alchemist, Gutter Water: I like the Alchemist on production. There's a stigma attached to being a producer who raps. Most rap heads think producers can't rap. I think it's more that producers do such a great job with the beats and the music, their rhymes get overshadowed. Large Professor is a strong rapper, if you need an example to settle a bet. The Alchemist? He's not bad. I think Oh No (Madlib's brother) is participating in this too. I'm interested in this album for the beats, for sure.
4. Lloyd Banks, H.F.M. 2 (Hunger For More 2): I don't like sequels. I don't remember the first Hunger For More. I don't like acronyms for album titles. I don't listen to Fiddy Cent orthe Lethal Interjection Crew his G-Unit crew, of which Lloyd Banks is a member. Notice, I didn't say, "I don't like Fiddy Cent or G-Unit", I simply said I don't listen to them. There's a big difference. I'm open to liking them, I just haven't listened much. I'm not excited about this release, though, but I would expect it to at least be average.
5. Darkwater, Where Stories End: Darkwater is a Swedish band that does prog metal. Some folks are recommending this, and I haven't heard their debut, but I gather there are lots of guitar solos and some vocal harmonizing. Eh, we'll see.
6. Kevin Eubanks, Zen Food: This guy, former bandleader and sidekick on Jay Leno's Tonight Show, is an awesome musician. He kind of played himself being the butt of the joke for Jay Leno, who is about as funny as a comatose squirrel. This is a jazz record, and I expect it to be kind of mellow, maybe with a few flourishes hear and there, but it's not going to be something that has a lot of surprises. My guess is that it will be technically proficient, but it ain't gonna convert non-jazz listeners into overnight fans. It might be of interest to hardcore jazz enthusiasts (both of them). I plan on getting to this after I've caught up on a couple of things I missed earlier in the year.
7. Ke$ha, Cannibal (EP): Honestly, I'm not really interested in this, but her music seems to move units, and I'm always fascinated by what ends up being popular. She's a singer and she raps a little bit, so, yeah, okay. You never know. It could be enjoyable. Plus, it's only an EP, which means it's short even though EP stands for "Extended Play".
8. Killing Joke, Absolute Dissent: What I'm hearing is that this is the first album recorded by this band's ORIGINAL lineup since 1982. That gets my attention right there. Early reviews say it's energetic, and the lead vocalist Jaz Coleman may be in fine form. What worries me is that the band is using Auto-Tune. It bothers me that it's being used, number one, but also the use is supposedly terrible in rap but not terrible in other genres, such as rock and metal. It's hard to tell what to make of this, so I might have to take a listen. When rock and metal albums are "good" to critics, they start using words like "anthemic", "apocalyptic", and "stadium scale". Sometimes, that means "epic" or "breathtaking". Other times, it just means "loud". I'm on the fence on this, probably to err on the side of listening to it and not taking the chance on missing something good.
Adam rants about Auto-Tune: New motto for 2010: "Thou Shalt Not Auto-Tune Jaz Coleman"
9. Nicki Minaj, Pink Friday: Nicki has a great verse on Kanye's song "Monster", and it's great to see a female rapper with an album that people are anticipating. There were albums and mixtapes by females in 2010 and most of this material ranged from solid to great. I haven't joined the Nicki Minaj à bandwagon yet, but I've listened to 3 mixtapes of her material, and I find her to be "all right". I'm not going to compare her to other female rappers, because that's the trap - a girl gets her emcee on, and then all the boys run to compare her to all the other girls, and then the girls start beefing with each other until they all get dragged into obscurity. Compared to all emcees on the market right now, she's competent, and her accents are humorous. I don't see hardcore hip hop heads loving this album, because I sense a little bit of indecision in terms of subject matter and execution, but it's at least worth a spin.
10. My Chemical Romance, Danger Days: The True Lives of The Fabulous Killjoys - I'm really curious about this one. I dig My Chemical Romance because they don't just rock, they RAWK! For some reason, though, I don't put them on many of my car mixes. They're on my iPod but not on any playlist. Anyway, the title of their new album intrigues me, and I'm a sucker for a good title. There's also talk of this album being like a concept album, along the lines of David Bowie's Ziggy Stardust, and I ride for Ziggy, so if I ride for Ziggy, and My Chemical Romance rides for Ziggy, then by the transitive property, I must also ride for My Chemical Romance.
11. Ne-Yo, Libra Scale: I respect Ne-Yo's songwriting hustle. I respect his singing voice too. I'm just not in love with R&B right now, and I'm not interested in the usual themes of dancing, having sex (or, listening to songs about other people having it), and breaking up. Now, I'm not totally sure that's what this album is about, but that's my estimation and I'm sticking to it. I'm not hating on the formula, but I just think I'm going to go a different way this time.
12. Robyn, Body Talk: Swedish awesomeness Robyn writes pop songs the way Muhammad Ali used to box. She's crafty. She doesn't always come right at you. She sneaks up on you. She's witty and clever and all kinds of subversive, but she's also a woman with a big heart. Don't think she's missing a heart just because she doesn't wear it on her sleeve. She's complex and multi-layered, that's all. Body Talk is the 3rd release this year from her. The first two parts were pretty good, with some danceable tracks as well as acoustic work. Those were like EPs. This is supposed to be longer, but a big chunk of the songs are from the first two parts. A 3rd of the album will be new songs. I wish they were all new songs. I don't like paying for songs twice. Nevertheless, I'm going to check this album out ASAP.
13. Royksopp, Senior: 2009's Junior was very, very good. This Norwegian duo is fun and really eccentric. This is trip hop music, and it definitely bumps, although it can sometimes get a little repetitive. Some of it is great for playing in the background, which is not an insult at all. It's well-composed. Music that bothers you is a nuisance. I don't think this album will fall into that category.
Peace & Happy play list making!!!!!!!!!!!!
Albums releasing on November 22, 2010:
2. Akon, Akonic: Not a big Akon fan. I always see "Akorn" first and then I realize it's "Akon". I respect this guy's hustle, though, but I'm not excited about hearing this one. Album title is kind of wack, too. Kanye's album title is long, but it's cool to me. Akonic is just...the opposite.
3. The Alchemist, Gutter Water: I like the Alchemist on production. There's a stigma attached to being a producer who raps. Most rap heads think producers can't rap. I think it's more that producers do such a great job with the beats and the music, their rhymes get overshadowed. Large Professor is a strong rapper, if you need an example to settle a bet. The Alchemist? He's not bad. I think Oh No (Madlib's brother) is participating in this too. I'm interested in this album for the beats, for sure.
4. Lloyd Banks, H.F.M. 2 (Hunger For More 2): I don't like sequels. I don't remember the first Hunger For More. I don't like acronyms for album titles. I don't listen to Fiddy Cent or
5. Darkwater, Where Stories End: Darkwater is a Swedish band that does prog metal. Some folks are recommending this, and I haven't heard their debut, but I gather there are lots of guitar solos and some vocal harmonizing. Eh, we'll see.
6. Kevin Eubanks, Zen Food: This guy, former bandleader and sidekick on Jay Leno's Tonight Show, is an awesome musician. He kind of played himself being the butt of the joke for Jay Leno, who is about as funny as a comatose squirrel. This is a jazz record, and I expect it to be kind of mellow, maybe with a few flourishes hear and there, but it's not going to be something that has a lot of surprises. My guess is that it will be technically proficient, but it ain't gonna convert non-jazz listeners into overnight fans. It might be of interest to hardcore jazz enthusiasts (both of them). I plan on getting to this after I've caught up on a couple of things I missed earlier in the year.
8. Killing Joke, Absolute Dissent: What I'm hearing is that this is the first album recorded by this band's ORIGINAL lineup since 1982. That gets my attention right there. Early reviews say it's energetic, and the lead vocalist Jaz Coleman may be in fine form. What worries me is that the band is using Auto-Tune. It bothers me that it's being used, number one, but also the use is supposedly terrible in rap but not terrible in other genres, such as rock and metal. It's hard to tell what to make of this, so I might have to take a listen. When rock and metal albums are "good" to critics, they start using words like "anthemic", "apocalyptic", and "stadium scale". Sometimes, that means "epic" or "breathtaking". Other times, it just means "loud". I'm on the fence on this, probably to err on the side of listening to it and not taking the chance on missing something good.
Adam rants about Auto-Tune: New motto for 2010: "Thou Shalt Not Auto-Tune Jaz Coleman"
10. My Chemical Romance, Danger Days: The True Lives of The Fabulous Killjoys - I'm really curious about this one. I dig My Chemical Romance because they don't just rock, they RAWK! For some reason, though, I don't put them on many of my car mixes. They're on my iPod but not on any playlist. Anyway, the title of their new album intrigues me, and I'm a sucker for a good title. There's also talk of this album being like a concept album, along the lines of David Bowie's Ziggy Stardust, and I ride for Ziggy, so if I ride for Ziggy, and My Chemical Romance rides for Ziggy, then by the transitive property, I must also ride for My Chemical Romance.
11. Ne-Yo, Libra Scale: I respect Ne-Yo's songwriting hustle. I respect his singing voice too. I'm just not in love with R&B right now, and I'm not interested in the usual themes of dancing, having sex (or, listening to songs about other people having it), and breaking up. Now, I'm not totally sure that's what this album is about, but that's my estimation and I'm sticking to it. I'm not hating on the formula, but I just think I'm going to go a different way this time.
13. Royksopp, Senior: 2009's Junior was very, very good. This Norwegian duo is fun and really eccentric. This is trip hop music, and it definitely bumps, although it can sometimes get a little repetitive. Some of it is great for playing in the background, which is not an insult at all. It's well-composed. Music that bothers you is a nuisance. I don't think this album will fall into that category.
Peace & Happy play list making!!!!!!!!!!!!
Robots Have Feelings Too!
Entertainment culture (is that an oxymoron?) has richly developed the idea of robots, computers, and technology. There is an intersection between robots (and other machines) and the fear that humans will be supplanted by the robots/machines they've created. There's also a subtle play on stoicism, or lack of feeling, when it comes to robots, as movies and books search for, and question, the root of existence and what it really means to be human. Robots are either out to kill "us", become "us", or serve "us". It seems rare that robots are only trying to be themselves, whatever that may entail.
The list below outlines just a few of the recognizable robots/machines that we have seen in popular culture:
1. Frankenstein: First of all, Frankenstein is not the name of a robot. Frankenstein is the doctor that created the monster. Second of all, Frankenstein's monster is a "monster", not a robot. Frankenstein is a character in Mary Shelley's novel, and he uses his scientific knowledge to create a human-like creature that's about 8 feet tall. Although Frankenstein's monster isn't a robot, the novel nevertheless explores issues that have become staples in robot lore and entertainment: namely, the idea that humans create machines, and then machines do unpredictable things, and the comedy or tragedy of the experience illuminates something important about life and humanity.
2. R2-D2 and C-3PO: These are droid characters from the Star Wars film. Both end up serving humans. R2-D2 is small, with a rounded top, and looks a little bit like a small trash can. It also reminds me of the actor Danny DeVito (I'm really sorry). R2-D2 doesn't use words to speak. It communicates through a series of sounds. The humanoids in the movie will be like, "R2-D2, what do you see?" and R2-D2 will be like, "Squiggle, bleep, bleep, squeak, honk, blit blit hum" and the humanoid will be like, "You're right. We should have made a left at that last galaxy."
C-3PO hangs out with R2-D2. C-3PO is tall and thin, and looks like he was made out of a big stash of King Tut's gold. He has big bug eyes, though, which makes him look weird to me, like he's standing in the middle of the street and a bus is coming at him real fast.
3. The Terminator - In the original 1984 Terminator film, California, Governor Arnold Schwartzenegger (before he was Governor) plays a cyborg (part living organism, part machine) that has been sent back in time to kill a woman named Sarah Conner. Apparently, in the first cycle of human history, machines end up attacking humans, leading to a world war between humans and machines. The machines are getting the upper hand, but the humans are resisting under the leadership of John Conner (yep, same initials as Jesus Christ). The machines decide they've had enough of John Conner and his crew, so the machines decide to cheat. They are going to send a cyborg (Schwartzenegger) back in time to kill John's mother Sarah before she ever gets pregnant with John. Kind of like King Herod in the Bible trying to kill all of the young boys in Bethlehem because he didn't want to be usurped by the "anointed one". Except here, when the Terminator is coming after her, Sarah doesn't even know what's going on or that she's ever going to have a child.
Then the story gets weird (spoiler alert). Future John Conner sends a soldier (Kyle) back to protect his mother. Kyle and Sarah manage to escape the Terminator's clutches, but Kyle dies in the process. Kyle and Sarah conceive a child (John), and Sarah makes a series of audio tapes telling John about what she's experienced. At some point in the future, he'll probably have to decide whether or not to send Kyle back, which is going to be kind of awkward if he knows he's sending back his own father. If he doesn't send his father back, of course, he won't exist, and therefore the machines will win. Ouch. Makes my head hurt. The other movies in the series add twists to the original idea, but the execution can get a little goofy (i.e. liquid metal cyborgs, female cyborgs, fallout shelters, odd jokes).
4. Johnny Five - This is a machine/robot from the movie Short Circuit. Originally designed as a military killing machine, the robot gets struck by lightning and suddenly becomes self-aware. Instead of trying to kill, it develops a Zen-like consciousness. The robot is affable and amazingly curious, reading everything it can get about every subject. The robot is supposed to be disassembled, but is befriended by an animal activist (played by Ally Sheedy) and wants to stay alive.
Singer-songwriter Janelle Monae explores these types of sci-fi topics in her music. Her 2007 music album Metropolis: Suite I (The Chase) and her 2010 album The ArchAndroid (Suites II and III) share this theme of robots being targeted for destruction because they have behaved outside of their initial programming parameters. In her albums, Monae plays the role of android Cindi Mayweather. When the android falls in love with a human named Anthony Greendown, Mayweather is hunted and marked for dis-assembly.
5. The Machines of the Matrix - In The Matrix trilogy, machines have taken over the world and are harvesting humans as a source of energy. Humans are grown in little pods (it's not clear how, or if, human reproduction is occurring). While the humans are growing, the machines feed their minds with data and imagery that makes humans believe they are living in a world that looks very much like our own. This world (which the humans refer to as "the matrix") is a fantasy world created by the machines. The Matrix is about the human journey to unplug from this fantasy world, and join the resistance against the dominance of artificial intelligence. There's a lot of the same savior symbolism that you find in The Terminator flicks: the chosen one, named "Neo" (an anagram of "one"), will liberate his people from involuntary servitude. There's also a lot of computer programming talk and geek-speak in the Matrix films.
6. Gus Gorman's machine in Superman III: Gus Gorman (played by Richard Pryor) has trouble finding jobs but discovers he is something of a wiz when it comes to computer programming. His talents are then utilized by a ruthless rich fat cat Ross Webster and his sister Vera. Through a series of schemes (GIGANTIC SPOILER ALERT), the Websters will use computers (via Gus's programming skills) to manipulate the economy and get even wealthier. Unfortunately, Superman (played by the most awesome Superman of all time, Christopher Reeve) keeps f@#king it up for them. They get Gus to tap into a satellite to try to kill Superman with some outer-space bootleg kryptonite (exposure to which is Superman's weakness), but it only turns him evil. While he's having a total identity crisis and acting like a diva (straightening the Leaning Tower of Pisa, blowing out the Olympic Torch during the cherished ceremonies, going on alcoholic binges, having one-night stands, etc.), the Websters are building Gus Gorman a super-computer, one that will do anything you tell it to do. It will even analyze an oncoming threat and figure out its opponent's weaknesses. Predictably, Gus Gorman's version of Frankenstein's monster starts doing things on its own, and goes all out of control and haywire, eventually turning on its creators and really ticking Superman off.
A lot of people think this movie sucks, but I respectfully disagree. Richard Pryor is funny in it, and its theme of how "good" and "evil" can often look alike, overlap, and intertwine is better executed than it has any right to be. Is it even possible to make a "good" movie about an alien with superpowers who wears his underwear on top of his primary colored tights but believes in "truth, justice, and The American Way?" Saying such a movie is corny is like saying you don't like rock music because they play guitar all the time. It kind of comes with the territory. But that's a topic for another list.
We'll have to do more on this at another time.
Peace & Robotics!!!!!!!!!!!!
The list below outlines just a few of the recognizable robots/machines that we have seen in popular culture:
1. Frankenstein: First of all, Frankenstein is not the name of a robot. Frankenstein is the doctor that created the monster. Second of all, Frankenstein's monster is a "monster", not a robot. Frankenstein is a character in Mary Shelley's novel, and he uses his scientific knowledge to create a human-like creature that's about 8 feet tall. Although Frankenstein's monster isn't a robot, the novel nevertheless explores issues that have become staples in robot lore and entertainment: namely, the idea that humans create machines, and then machines do unpredictable things, and the comedy or tragedy of the experience illuminates something important about life and humanity. |
| C-3PO |
C-3PO hangs out with R2-D2. C-3PO is tall and thin, and looks like he was made out of a big stash of King Tut's gold. He has big bug eyes, though, which makes him look weird to me, like he's standing in the middle of the street and a bus is coming at him real fast.
 |
| Danny DeVito |
 | ||||
| R2-D2 |
3. The Terminator - In the original 1984 Terminator film, California, Governor Arnold Schwartzenegger (before he was Governor) plays a cyborg (part living organism, part machine) that has been sent back in time to kill a woman named Sarah Conner. Apparently, in the first cycle of human history, machines end up attacking humans, leading to a world war between humans and machines. The machines are getting the upper hand, but the humans are resisting under the leadership of John Conner (yep, same initials as Jesus Christ). The machines decide they've had enough of John Conner and his crew, so the machines decide to cheat. They are going to send a cyborg (Schwartzenegger) back in time to kill John's mother Sarah before she ever gets pregnant with John. Kind of like King Herod in the Bible trying to kill all of the young boys in Bethlehem because he didn't want to be usurped by the "anointed one". Except here, when the Terminator is coming after her, Sarah doesn't even know what's going on or that she's ever going to have a child.Then the story gets weird (spoiler alert). Future John Conner sends a soldier (Kyle) back to protect his mother. Kyle and Sarah manage to escape the Terminator's clutches, but Kyle dies in the process. Kyle and Sarah conceive a child (John), and Sarah makes a series of audio tapes telling John about what she's experienced. At some point in the future, he'll probably have to decide whether or not to send Kyle back, which is going to be kind of awkward if he knows he's sending back his own father. If he doesn't send his father back, of course, he won't exist, and therefore the machines will win. Ouch. Makes my head hurt. The other movies in the series add twists to the original idea, but the execution can get a little goofy (i.e. liquid metal cyborgs, female cyborgs, fallout shelters, odd jokes).
4. Johnny Five - This is a machine/robot from the movie Short Circuit. Originally designed as a military killing machine, the robot gets struck by lightning and suddenly becomes self-aware. Instead of trying to kill, it develops a Zen-like consciousness. The robot is affable and amazingly curious, reading everything it can get about every subject. The robot is supposed to be disassembled, but is befriended by an animal activist (played by Ally Sheedy) and wants to stay alive.
5. The Machines of the Matrix - In The Matrix trilogy, machines have taken over the world and are harvesting humans as a source of energy. Humans are grown in little pods (it's not clear how, or if, human reproduction is occurring). While the humans are growing, the machines feed their minds with data and imagery that makes humans believe they are living in a world that looks very much like our own. This world (which the humans refer to as "the matrix") is a fantasy world created by the machines. The Matrix is about the human journey to unplug from this fantasy world, and join the resistance against the dominance of artificial intelligence. There's a lot of the same savior symbolism that you find in The Terminator flicks: the chosen one, named "Neo" (an anagram of "one"), will liberate his people from involuntary servitude. There's also a lot of computer programming talk and geek-speak in the Matrix films.
 |
| Superman fights against a Super Computer |
 | |
| Superman, after a tough day. |
A lot of people think this movie sucks, but I respectfully disagree. Richard Pryor is funny in it, and its theme of how "good" and "evil" can often look alike, overlap, and intertwine is better executed than it has any right to be. Is it even possible to make a "good" movie about an alien with superpowers who wears his underwear on top of his primary colored tights but believes in "truth, justice, and The American Way?" Saying such a movie is corny is like saying you don't like rock music because they play guitar all the time. It kind of comes with the territory. But that's a topic for another list.
We'll have to do more on this at another time.
Peace & Robotics!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Just Like Candy
You like candy, I suppose. Of course you do! Who doesn't? Here are some of my favorite candies (and candy bars):
1. Mike 'N' Ikes: I'm totally confused as to who "Mike" and "Ike" are. There are a lot of cool "Mike"s. Michael Douglas. Michael Jackson. Michael Jordan. Michael Landon. Michael Madsen. Michael J. Fox. There are some losers too. Take Michael Dukakis, for example. But I can only think of one "Ike" that has a great reputation. Dwight Eisenhower is sometimes called "Ike". But his name doesn't come up when people are talking about great Presidents or anything. There's also Ike Turner, but again, not a great rep. I think people sometimes refer to Isaac Hayes as "Ike". Now, Isaac Hayes always struck me as amazingly cool and awesome. Regardless of who Mike and Ike are, their candy is the bomb. There's a citrus flavor that's totally amazing, but the tropical and original flavors are great too. They look like big @ss prescription pills, so you can pretend you're self-medicating. Hmm...that sounded a lot better in theory than in actual description.
2. Twix: What the f*$k is Twix? A pair of nun chucks? I don't even get it, but it's just so uncommonly good. It's got that whole nougat thing happening so you break it apart and little strings of synthetic goodness stretch like a spider web from one side to the other. Twix is just two sticks of chocolate-covered awesomeness. I can't figure out why there are two sticks there, or what the point of it all is. Why is it even called "Twix"? Sounds like a word a poet from the 1700s would try to roll with. Heaven most be made out of nougat, and I absolutely ride for nougat. Sh!t is ridonkulous.
3. Peppermint Candy - This is so old school, but if you're not down with peppermint candy, son, I don't know about you or your politics. Peppermint candy has the red and white from the American flag, so you really oughta know that, here in the United States, peppermint candy is a measure of your patriotism. No doubt. Peppermint is just so gangsta the way it goes all up in your nostrils and makes you feel like you're smelling the purest part of the air. It cranks up the oxygen to a high molecular level and takes you up to the heavens. In the Bible's Book of Genesis, when the Lord says, "Let us make man," He handed out peppermints to whomever he was saying that to and they were like, "Dag, bro, this is good. You made this? My God!" The York Peppermint Patty falls into this spot as well.
4. Kit Kat -- Kind of like the Twix thing, but a little smaller. I like the chocolate combined with the wafers. It's got a nice taste, kind of coconut-y, although I realize manufacturers sometimes use chocolate to cover up things that are spoiled, old, and rancid. But so what? It's candy, right? Any-whoo, I like the way Kit Kat looks - like 4 little brown bars, which reminds me of gold bars. If you don't like gold, you're just not human.
I don't love Kit Kat's advertising campaign with all that "Gimme a break" stuff and "Break me off a piece of that" nonsense. It's stupid. Yeah, you eat Kit Kat by breaking it off but that's fairly obvious. It basically has seams in the candy that practically demand you to break it apart. The commercial is supposed to tell you stuff you don't know about the product. What's the next Kit Kat ad campaign going to be, "Swallow the food! Swallow the food! Swallow that Kit Kat and digest that bar!" Duh.
5. Almond Joy - If you like almonds and you like joy, you've got to dig this. Coconut, chocolate, and almonds are delish! Almond Joy is so f#!king good, I don't know why they kept making Mounds. Everybody knows Mounds sucks and I don't know a single person who eats it. Terrible. Almond Joy, on the other hand, is as good as its name implies.
6. Sour anythings. Sour worms. Sour bears. Sour candies are awesome, they kick you in the back of the throat but then they get sweet in your stomach. That ish is crazy! Love me some sour stuff. Any kind, any brand. Bring it on.
Peace & Good Hygiene! ! !
1. Mike 'N' Ikes: I'm totally confused as to who "Mike" and "Ike" are. There are a lot of cool "Mike"s. Michael Douglas. Michael Jackson. Michael Jordan. Michael Landon. Michael Madsen. Michael J. Fox. There are some losers too. Take Michael Dukakis, for example. But I can only think of one "Ike" that has a great reputation. Dwight Eisenhower is sometimes called "Ike". But his name doesn't come up when people are talking about great Presidents or anything. There's also Ike Turner, but again, not a great rep. I think people sometimes refer to Isaac Hayes as "Ike". Now, Isaac Hayes always struck me as amazingly cool and awesome. Regardless of who Mike and Ike are, their candy is the bomb. There's a citrus flavor that's totally amazing, but the tropical and original flavors are great too. They look like big @ss prescription pills, so you can pretend you're self-medicating. Hmm...that sounded a lot better in theory than in actual description.
2. Twix: What the f*$k is Twix? A pair of nun chucks? I don't even get it, but it's just so uncommonly good. It's got that whole nougat thing happening so you break it apart and little strings of synthetic goodness stretch like a spider web from one side to the other. Twix is just two sticks of chocolate-covered awesomeness. I can't figure out why there are two sticks there, or what the point of it all is. Why is it even called "Twix"? Sounds like a word a poet from the 1700s would try to roll with. Heaven most be made out of nougat, and I absolutely ride for nougat. Sh!t is ridonkulous.
3. Peppermint Candy - This is so old school, but if you're not down with peppermint candy, son, I don't know about you or your politics. Peppermint candy has the red and white from the American flag, so you really oughta know that, here in the United States, peppermint candy is a measure of your patriotism. No doubt. Peppermint is just so gangsta the way it goes all up in your nostrils and makes you feel like you're smelling the purest part of the air. It cranks up the oxygen to a high molecular level and takes you up to the heavens. In the Bible's Book of Genesis, when the Lord says, "Let us make man," He handed out peppermints to whomever he was saying that to and they were like, "Dag, bro, this is good. You made this? My God!" The York Peppermint Patty falls into this spot as well.
4. Kit Kat -- Kind of like the Twix thing, but a little smaller. I like the chocolate combined with the wafers. It's got a nice taste, kind of coconut-y, although I realize manufacturers sometimes use chocolate to cover up things that are spoiled, old, and rancid. But so what? It's candy, right? Any-whoo, I like the way Kit Kat looks - like 4 little brown bars, which reminds me of gold bars. If you don't like gold, you're just not human.
I don't love Kit Kat's advertising campaign with all that "Gimme a break" stuff and "Break me off a piece of that" nonsense. It's stupid. Yeah, you eat Kit Kat by breaking it off but that's fairly obvious. It basically has seams in the candy that practically demand you to break it apart. The commercial is supposed to tell you stuff you don't know about the product. What's the next Kit Kat ad campaign going to be, "Swallow the food! Swallow the food! Swallow that Kit Kat and digest that bar!" Duh.
5. Almond Joy - If you like almonds and you like joy, you've got to dig this. Coconut, chocolate, and almonds are delish! Almond Joy is so f#!king good, I don't know why they kept making Mounds. Everybody knows Mounds sucks and I don't know a single person who eats it. Terrible. Almond Joy, on the other hand, is as good as its name implies.
6. Sour anythings. Sour worms. Sour bears. Sour candies are awesome, they kick you in the back of the throat but then they get sweet in your stomach. That ish is crazy! Love me some sour stuff. Any kind, any brand. Bring it on.
Peace & Good Hygiene! ! !
Friday, November 19, 2010
You Want YOUR Kid To Be a Tennis Pro?!
Since I give tennis lessons on pretty much a daily basis, and I mainly work with young people, I'd like to offer some kind words of advice to any parents out there looking to get their kid interested in the sport and/or hoping that their kid will be the next Roger Federer or Maria Sharapova. It's amazing how just a few tips can prepare a beginning tennis-parent and/or young champion for the future:
0-0: The first thing you need to do before taking your child to a tennis professional for lessons? How about a little parenting? Try it sometimes. It works. Playing tennis takes discipline -- ya know, like, hitting the ball inside those little line thingies? They aren't just there for decoration. Yet, kids try to play tennis like the lines don't even apply to them. Some of them actually think it's fun to hit the ball OVER the fence. That's because their parents have failed to set boundaries for them. Set a curfew for a kid and say, "Look, dude, you gotta go to bed before 1AM in the morning." Stop negotiating with your kids and tell them what they MUST do, instead of asking them stuff. "Would you like to take a nap now?" Of course s/he doesn't want to take a nap now! Too many parents take their brats out to a tennis instructor and now this poor tennis pro has to deal with a kid that is unable to listen to instructions and is completely unprepared for the discipline that sports demand. You don't have to spank your kids, but you should at least -- oh, I don't know -- pay attention to what they're doing. For real.
1-0: Since you failed to do the parenting thing, recognize that your kids aren't as sweet or as precious as you think they are. I don't mean to sound like Pres. Obama here, but, look, let's be clear: nobody likes your kids. Hell, you don't even like them, and they're yours. Stop bringing your brats out to things like tennis camps or swimming camps or soccer camps and dumping them in some poor sucker's lap. There's a bad seed in the bunch that is ruining things for all the other kids, and it's probably your kid. So if you're wondering why your kid isn't getting any better at tennis, or whatever activity s/he is participating in, understand that your kid is obnoxious and is probably cussing his/her instructor out. Your kid has a stank attitude, talks too much sH!t to people, and is entirely overrated. Also, you're probably wondering why your kid is making straight A's in school but not doing well in a sport like tennis. It's because teachers don't want to see your kid again, so they are promoting him/her to the next grade to get rid of them. Which means...
2-0: Your kid isn't as smart as you think s/he is. No, really. Most of them are pretty dumb, although they have a tendency to act like they know every f*@$ing thing (Gee, I wonder where they are getting that from???). Unfortunately, they don't know their left from their right. Once, I asked a kid to move his left foot, and this guy actually moved his right HAND. Dude, really? Not only do you not have any sense of direction, but you don't know your hand from your foot?! WTF? That's pathetic. Some of them can't count, which makes it very tough to keep score in any sport, but especially in a sport like tennis where people like your kid came up with the weird scoring ("40-Love"). Don't keep them away from sports, just understand that your kid isn't the hottest French fry in the combo. You're on the sidelines going, "Run to the ball," and your kid is standing there going, "What the F*zk is a ball?" Which also leads us to the fact that...
3-0: Your kid isn't as athletically inclined as you think s/he is. I hear lots of stories about how good a kid is and how athletic a kid is, only to meet the kid and discover the kid needs to be taught how to run or the kid throws like s/he just woke up from a 9 year coma and the kid is 10 years old. Your kid isn't as fast as you think s/he is. Your child is awkward, weird looking, and is just now figuring out that the ball is going to the "left" and not the "right". Cut the kid a little slack. You're expecting the kid to be Raphael Nadal. Well, before Raphael Nadal was "Raphael Nadal", I'm sure he was a kid too, and even he probably had to be taught how to do things, like run, jump, backpedal, shuffle, and squat. Raphael Nadal is CRAZY athletic now. Kids are kids. They can't do grown man Raphael Nadal sh!t at 5 years old. Wake the f#$k up.
4-0: You need to stay yo' @ss off the court while the tennis instructor is trying to teach your kid. You're just getting in the way, and if you keep it up, you're going to f#@k it up for everybody. The tennis pro is "the tennis pro" for a reason. Let him/her do his/her job. Don't stand on the sidelines shouting at your kid with lame @ss stuff like, "Move your feet, bud," and "Get your racket back, sweet pea," and other stuff you heard from the tennis commentators on television. Let the tennis pro do the job, that's what the heck you're paying them to do. Nobody just drops in at your job, without knowing anything about your job, and starts shouting things at you and telling you what you need to do to get better. If that's happening to you, then your job is either wayyyyyyyy too easy to do or you need better security at your job. Stop trying to coach from the bleachers. It's irritating, and more than likely you don't know what the f#@k you're talking about. Watch your kid, fine. Cheer for your kid, fine. But start barking instructions at your kid while the tennis pro is trying to teach? You need your @ss kicked.
5-0: How about turning off the television? A sport like tennis takes concentration. A kid needs to be able to concentrate for more than an hour. Most tennis lessons are about an hour. Most tennis matches last a little longer than an hour. How can a kid concentrate if you let them watch TV all the time? TV is built around pockets of "show" (sitcom, drama, reality, whatever) with these little breaks for commercials. At best, they can concentrate for about 12 or 13 minutes, and then they take a break for commercials. Some studies theorize that the commercials are really the "shows", that it's the ads that make TV what it is, and the TV shows we watch are just there to hook us to the tube so we can get blitzed by campaigns for new products. That means, viewers are concentrating for 5 minutes, at most, and then tuning out for the real "show" for 10 to 15 minutes at a time! Turn off the damn television! And for all those parents who say, "Well, my kid doesn't watch any television"? You're full of crap. Your kid sneaks it in when you're not looking or not around, because you aren't paying f*$king attention to what they do. I know this, because the kids tell me this. They tell me all about where they last saved in Grand Theft Auto, the new rated R movie they watched, and which housewife is their favorite on The Real Housewives of Whatever. Pay a-f*!king-ttention.
6-0: Pay your instructor promptly and without fail. And, oh my goodness gracious, don't ever let your checks bounce. More than likely, your tennis pro isn't getting paid enough to deal with your little obnoxious brat. At least pay them what you promised, and do it when you promised, okay?
Got it? Good. Have fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-)
Peace & U.S. Open tickets
0-0: The first thing you need to do before taking your child to a tennis professional for lessons? How about a little parenting? Try it sometimes. It works. Playing tennis takes discipline -- ya know, like, hitting the ball inside those little line thingies? They aren't just there for decoration. Yet, kids try to play tennis like the lines don't even apply to them. Some of them actually think it's fun to hit the ball OVER the fence. That's because their parents have failed to set boundaries for them. Set a curfew for a kid and say, "Look, dude, you gotta go to bed before 1AM in the morning." Stop negotiating with your kids and tell them what they MUST do, instead of asking them stuff. "Would you like to take a nap now?" Of course s/he doesn't want to take a nap now! Too many parents take their brats out to a tennis instructor and now this poor tennis pro has to deal with a kid that is unable to listen to instructions and is completely unprepared for the discipline that sports demand. You don't have to spank your kids, but you should at least -- oh, I don't know -- pay attention to what they're doing. For real.
1-0: Since you failed to do the parenting thing, recognize that your kids aren't as sweet or as precious as you think they are. I don't mean to sound like Pres. Obama here, but, look, let's be clear: nobody likes your kids. Hell, you don't even like them, and they're yours. Stop bringing your brats out to things like tennis camps or swimming camps or soccer camps and dumping them in some poor sucker's lap. There's a bad seed in the bunch that is ruining things for all the other kids, and it's probably your kid. So if you're wondering why your kid isn't getting any better at tennis, or whatever activity s/he is participating in, understand that your kid is obnoxious and is probably cussing his/her instructor out. Your kid has a stank attitude, talks too much sH!t to people, and is entirely overrated. Also, you're probably wondering why your kid is making straight A's in school but not doing well in a sport like tennis. It's because teachers don't want to see your kid again, so they are promoting him/her to the next grade to get rid of them. Which means...
2-0: Your kid isn't as smart as you think s/he is. No, really. Most of them are pretty dumb, although they have a tendency to act like they know every f*@$ing thing (Gee, I wonder where they are getting that from???). Unfortunately, they don't know their left from their right. Once, I asked a kid to move his left foot, and this guy actually moved his right HAND. Dude, really? Not only do you not have any sense of direction, but you don't know your hand from your foot?! WTF? That's pathetic. Some of them can't count, which makes it very tough to keep score in any sport, but especially in a sport like tennis where people like your kid came up with the weird scoring ("40-Love"). Don't keep them away from sports, just understand that your kid isn't the hottest French fry in the combo. You're on the sidelines going, "Run to the ball," and your kid is standing there going, "What the F*zk is a ball?" Which also leads us to the fact that...
3-0: Your kid isn't as athletically inclined as you think s/he is. I hear lots of stories about how good a kid is and how athletic a kid is, only to meet the kid and discover the kid needs to be taught how to run or the kid throws like s/he just woke up from a 9 year coma and the kid is 10 years old. Your kid isn't as fast as you think s/he is. Your child is awkward, weird looking, and is just now figuring out that the ball is going to the "left" and not the "right". Cut the kid a little slack. You're expecting the kid to be Raphael Nadal. Well, before Raphael Nadal was "Raphael Nadal", I'm sure he was a kid too, and even he probably had to be taught how to do things, like run, jump, backpedal, shuffle, and squat. Raphael Nadal is CRAZY athletic now. Kids are kids. They can't do grown man Raphael Nadal sh!t at 5 years old. Wake the f#$k up.
4-0: You need to stay yo' @ss off the court while the tennis instructor is trying to teach your kid. You're just getting in the way, and if you keep it up, you're going to f#@k it up for everybody. The tennis pro is "the tennis pro" for a reason. Let him/her do his/her job. Don't stand on the sidelines shouting at your kid with lame @ss stuff like, "Move your feet, bud," and "Get your racket back, sweet pea," and other stuff you heard from the tennis commentators on television. Let the tennis pro do the job, that's what the heck you're paying them to do. Nobody just drops in at your job, without knowing anything about your job, and starts shouting things at you and telling you what you need to do to get better. If that's happening to you, then your job is either wayyyyyyyy too easy to do or you need better security at your job. Stop trying to coach from the bleachers. It's irritating, and more than likely you don't know what the f#@k you're talking about. Watch your kid, fine. Cheer for your kid, fine. But start barking instructions at your kid while the tennis pro is trying to teach? You need your @ss kicked.
5-0: How about turning off the television? A sport like tennis takes concentration. A kid needs to be able to concentrate for more than an hour. Most tennis lessons are about an hour. Most tennis matches last a little longer than an hour. How can a kid concentrate if you let them watch TV all the time? TV is built around pockets of "show" (sitcom, drama, reality, whatever) with these little breaks for commercials. At best, they can concentrate for about 12 or 13 minutes, and then they take a break for commercials. Some studies theorize that the commercials are really the "shows", that it's the ads that make TV what it is, and the TV shows we watch are just there to hook us to the tube so we can get blitzed by campaigns for new products. That means, viewers are concentrating for 5 minutes, at most, and then tuning out for the real "show" for 10 to 15 minutes at a time! Turn off the damn television! And for all those parents who say, "Well, my kid doesn't watch any television"? You're full of crap. Your kid sneaks it in when you're not looking or not around, because you aren't paying f*$king attention to what they do. I know this, because the kids tell me this. They tell me all about where they last saved in Grand Theft Auto, the new rated R movie they watched, and which housewife is their favorite on The Real Housewives of Whatever. Pay a-f*!king-ttention.
6-0: Pay your instructor promptly and without fail. And, oh my goodness gracious, don't ever let your checks bounce. More than likely, your tennis pro isn't getting paid enough to deal with your little obnoxious brat. At least pay them what you promised, and do it when you promised, okay?
Got it? Good. Have fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-)
Peace & U.S. Open tickets
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